Building Trust - Lesson 6

Well, welcome back. Now we come to the core issues that we have to deal with in trust. This is the most important section and I want you to think about going through it once, looking at your workbook, and then considering to go back through it again.

Because as you identify and compare your scores from the Trustworthiness Index, you're going to find some things that you say, "I'm not sure about that." But remember what we talked about in the very first session of our behaviors and mindsets, and that is what is self-awareness. Self-awareness is not what we think we know about ourselves.

It is how we are perceived by other people. And as we begin to deal with each of these constructs, I think you'll be able to see that your personality, while it has its strengths, and while it has its positivity, it also naturally will build some weaknesses that can be overcome with God's help through the direction of the Holy Spirit. So let's begin to help our teams, help our ministry, and help the people that we work with on a day-to-day basis.

Identify the key aspects that can help us succeed. So let's talk about each of our skill sets. The first skill that we want to discuss is our interpersonal skills.

What goes on between you and another person? There are two aspects of interpersonal skills that are going to allow help and actually encourage another person to trust you. The first is transparency, because you see people, team members, ministry association, board directors, need to trust your words. Transparency means that we're not covering up issues.

It means that we are open to communicating our heart. It means that we are doing the things that are necessary to know that we are authentic with the people that we interact with. Our second category of interpersonal skills is relatability.

You see, there are people, whether they be athletes, whether they be actors, whether they be people that are high profile, that we just can't put ourselves in their place. And therefore, we don't know where their heart is. And people will not trust a person if they cannot trust your heart.

You have to be aligned with the person. And that requires vulnerability along with transparency so that they can see that you're human. You have flaws.

You have an ability to relate to them because in many ways, they're just like you. And you know, it's funny because things can start with this simply as, "What kind of food do you enjoy? What do you enjoy hobby-wise?" Things like that. But people have to trust your heart the same way that they can trust your words.

Our second category is intrapersonal. What's going on inside of us? And the one thing that will stand out about that is your predictability. If you are the same person that shows up day in and day out, people will actually trust your actions because they know what to expect.

And if they don't know what to expect, the question is always going to be, "What kind of mood are they in? Do you think that today is a good day to ask for a raise? Or do you think this is a good day to be placed in the ministry role that I feel called to?" We have to be the same person. When people came to Christ, they came to Christ because they knew he'd be transparent, relatable, but he would always be honest, and he would always be the same person. And those actions are what's important to other people.

Our third category is application skills. If people don't feel that we're willing to put the skills, ability, knowledge out there to actually apply, they're not going to trust us. And there's two aspects to that.

The first one is feasibility. Is what we are proposing actually something that can work? Because you see, if we throw something out the first time, people will follow us. But if it doesn't work, how inclined are they going to be to do it the second time? You see, it helps your team and those people within your ministry if they can trust your judgment.

If they can't trust your judgment, and they don't think that you've done the research and developed the knowledge and understanding that's necessary, they're not going to waste their time. The second aspect of being able to apply trust is the ability to empower other people. Because the one thing that we know, especially when we talk about growing an adult from the study of andragogy, is the fact that the adult needs to be a part of the process.

If they are not part of the process, if they are not involved, they will either go away, find another way, or find another place to go. You see, the adult and those who are mature enough to understand need to know that they can trust themselves because you have empowered them and put them in a position to where they can execute, even the first time when they know they're not going to be that good. You have to help them trust themselves.

Now that you've got an idea of the summary of where we're going, in our next lesson, we're going to break each one of these skill sets down, and I'm going to help you walk through these so that you can develop trust in all three categories and each of the five sections.