Building Trust - Lesson 10

Well, welcome back. It's good to have you back. Now that we've covered the interpersonal between two or more people and the intrapersonal, which is purely held within ourselves, let's see what happens during the application process, because we may be very good interpersonally with our transparency and relatability, and we may be even very predictable in the way that we perform intrapersonally.

But we also have to execute as a leader, pastor, elder, or staff member in the way that we direct people, whether it be volunteers or other staff members, to the role that we're asking them to perform. You see, they may not be ready to do your job, but even people that work with you and for you who are not top performers can tell the difference between a good and a bad boss, leader, or pastor. So here's what I think we have to remember at this point, that's going to help you become great in your application-based skills.

Much of it simply comes down to your team's faith in your ability to captain the ship. Demonstratable competency is going to gain you followers. You have to be seen as someone that's trustworthy in order for others to follow you.

Now, how do you do that? First of all, you have to present ideas and concepts that are feasible. These are going to manifest perhaps as a dream, but it can also manifest itself as a plan. Dreams inspire people, but people will only follow a leader once based on that dream.

And let me tell you that it doesn't just have to be one person. Let me give you a good example. I'm going to give you a phrase, and I doubt very seriously a few of you are not going to know who this is.

"I have a dream." We know that's Martin Luther King, but we also know that it wasn't Martin Luther King that planned the way that that dream was to come true. It was his assistant, Ralph Abernathy, that put that program together and helped Martin Luther King achieve that dream.

Dreams are critical. They inspire people, but it's the plans that go along with those dreams that allow us to implement it because good planning builds trust over time. When plans serve as a roadmap to the realization of those dreams, employees, church members, board members, elders, followers, they become faithful advocates of the dream.

They buy into it. Did you know that even though there is a 70% turnover within nonprofits within the first five years, the reason and the whole idea and concept for them joining a nonprofit for lower pay, less benefits, longer hours is because they buy into the dream. But a feasible leader charts a realistic path to help achieve those dreams.

So let's think about four things that can help us become feasible with our dreams by developing a plan. Number one, very simply, do your homework, do your research. My goodness, if we can go to Google and write something in and there's 1,463,213 variables there, there's bound to be information that can help us.

So this is obviously going to be very simple for a high C in theoretical. They love this kind of research. And if you are not so inclined, you will want to be within reach of that high C or theoretical.

It's going to be harder for those of us that have the high I, because we are not detailed people. We are conceptual people. And those individuals have the dreams, but they may not have the plans.

Secondly, evaluate the plan as an opportunity to help and grow the people that you are ministering to, whether they be employees, staffs or volunteers. Now, we know that that's going to be easier for the high S, the high subjective person, and even some of the objective people, because why? The execution of the plan brings personal approval back to the high IS and the subjective. And for the objective, it allows them to tick off the box.

It's going to be harder, though, for the traditional, especially if they have not done something like this before, because they want structure before they ever decide they want to get started. So we have to keep that in mind. Next, I want us to think about the fact that if you identify and assess your organization's opportunity for success, you are going to have a much better chance for succeeding.

Now, if you've been around business or you've been around ministry for any length of time, you know there is a process called SWOT in strategic planning. What are the Strengths? What are the Weaknesses? What are the Opportunities and what are the Threats? We have to think about that ahead of time. We have to begin to analyze and assess those things.

If we don't, we get blindsided, and that's not unusual when we are thinking about pushing this off to somebody else. Normally, leaders will say, "Okay, I've hired you to do that job, so you do the strategic planning." And a lot of people that work in support roles are not strategic in the way that they think.

They are not looking for answers. They're looking for direction. So in most cases, this is going to be pretty easy for a high D and a utilitarian.

They're always looking for that next challenge. They're always looking for the quickest, most efficient and effective way to do that. But we also know that it's going to be harder for the high I and the very low traditional.

Why? The high I is a very conceptual thinker, but they want to do it with people's approval. And we also said in our sessions on behavior and mindsets that when you put new ideas and concepts in a pile on a high I's head, they tend to walk around in circles until they can think through things and begin to get the research. And then the plan begins to work its way out.

But you can't identify and assess your organization's opportunities for success if you don't have that information. So we don't give that purely to a high I. Number four, we need to recognize the value of mistakes. That's right.

We have to realize that there is an inherent value in mistakes. We've talked about it before. Sanctification is forgiveness for our sins.

What are sins? They are our mistakes. But we learn and we grow oftentimes more from our mistakes than we do from doing it right. So if we see the value in making those mistakes and we see how they can create a potential for growth in our people, we are a step ahead.

And rather than condemning people for their mistakes, the question is: what did you learn from that? How is it help you growing? And for the high I's and the socials and the theoretical, this is wonderful because it brings them to a point to where they're in that growth mindset rather than that fixed mindset. You see, the utilitarian, the individualistic and the very high traditional are going to say, "Let's do it my way," when in fact there may be a whole lot more to learn from making mistakes than there is from doing it in a set pattern. So when we think about that, what are some best practices that you can actually apply to grow in feasibility, even if it's not your strong suit? Well, first, make decisions based on information, not intuition.

If you are an extrovert, your natural response is going to be to jump in because I'm confident. Introverts, on the other hand, say we need to be competent before we become confident. So we need to take in all the information and perspectives before we commit to a choice.

If you have to, slow down long enough to do that SWOT. SWOT: strength, weaknesses, opportunity and threats. Secondly, keep a realistic path for yourself and for your team. If you are a high I, you are probably going to be so optimistic, "I can do it."

But remember, there's only 24 hours, seven days in a week, 365 days a year. God intended for us to only have 24 hours. Therefore, we have to be realistic because unchecked ambition can be a team's biggest downfall.

Temper your expectations with the knowledge of the possible obstacles. One of the things that has attacked our society, especially in the last 30 to 40 years, is not being feasible. And I'll tell you why.

In the late 1980s, I started studying a mental aspect in people of various ages called avoidance. That skill set is the ability to see potential problems coming down the road. And over these last 30 plus years, what I have seen is that ability to see potential problems coming decreasing to the point to where the average percentage drop is 23% in all age groups over the last 30 years.

And here's why. When we go to church, what do we hear? Pre-digested material from a sermon. When we go to school, what do we see? Here's the facts.

Remember them so that you can take a test and then you can forget them. When we go through life, the norm today is to have helicopter parents that are trying to live their life through their children and solve their problems and meet their needs. That's why in today's society, we have people that cannot think and cannot reason through many of the challenges that exist.

So a realistic path requires reasoning, and I'm asking you to think about that as you try to build, especially if your feasibility score is low. Now, in sharing all of that, I'm sure it's created several questions for you. What are they? 

Student: Let me come back to the fact that I'm a high D. In terms of the feasibility, one of the challenges I've always had is I can see where I think we're supposed to go. And I'm not completely sure how to get there, but I take off anyway, which generally means I don't bring many people along with me. So either I drag them or we quit. So for a high D that does have dreams, what are the things that he or she can do to really make those dreams feasible and engender trust from our people? 

Dr. Coker: Very good question. Since most of you watching these lessons are in a leadership role and trying to build the skills of trust, what I would ask you to think about and remember most is what it says in Proverbs, and that "two are better than one and three makes the bond even stronger." So in every group, there's going to be a visionary. But in every group, there also has to be an implementer.

And as that high D or high individualistic person has those dreams, has those aspirations, they must make sure that they encircle themselves with people that are smarter than they are in areas outside their vision or inside their vision, depending on what that vision is. Because there is always a path. We know that God orders our steps.

He orders the path. And if he gave you a vision, you should be able to get there. But the reason that most people don't is because they forget that simple principle given to us in Proverbs, that "two are better than one."

So taking the time to do the research and then having people that you know that have those skill sets can literally make you look smarter than you are and can literally accelerate the process. Because as we work together, it's critical that we have both aspects of vision and implementation. How important is it to set intermediate goals to allow yourself with plans like this to make adjustments along the way or to change course as you see things developing? Excellent question.

One of the terms that has become very familiar in the past couple of decades is the whole idea of chunking things up, chunking them up into phrases. Before the last couple of decades, we heard that phrase over and over again: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

So in our conflict course, we will address the whole concept of a SMART plan. And a SMART plan allows us to be very specific about what we want, identify measurable aspects, be able to attain it by putting it on our calendars and understanding the passion behind it with relevancy, but also setting time frames. Because in a conversation I had with Zig Ziglar many years ago, he said, "Chuck, there are no unrealistic objectives. What there are is unrealistic time frames." So when we think about that, we remember that if we take it step by step by step, then we are much more able to achieve the intermediate objectives than if we try to conquer the world. Now, the key is for you to begin to do what Covey said in his Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, "Start with the end in mind and work back step by step by step, chunk things in to principles that will stretch you a little bit, but also help you one aspect of this goal."

Then what's going to help you get to the next stage? Then what's going to help you get to the next stage? Remember what the Scripture says, how do we learn? Line upon line, precept upon precept. We don't learn everything at one time. That's the reason for sanctification is because it takes multiple experiences, multiple steps to build one upon the other so that we can get to the ultimate objective.

And guess what? We're not through until God says we're through. So I hope that answers your question, because the key is to chunk it. The key is put it into measurable steps that we can check off and know that we've achieved a portion of that objective.