Understanding Your Personality and Mindset - Lesson 2

Dr. Chuck Coker
Understanding Your Personality and Mindset
pc312-02
Understanding Task Oriented Extroverts
Lesson Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome back. Our very first session on extroverts is going to be about the task oriented think or. Extrovert. We call them a high dominant person because they are very decisive, their drivers, and they're very direct, too. They are what we call control specialists. Why? Because they lead 70% of the world's corporations. And don't confuse this with just male and female, because there are female high D's that lead corporations. They are going to be the type that speak very quickly and very directly. They make up 18% of the population and they are, as we said, task oriented and direct. Now, when these people are put under stress, you're going to think that they are very impatient and probably very intolerant. They are geared to looking for results and efficiency. 

[00:01:19] Now they have an emotion that drives them, as do all the behaviors. And I'm going to cover that now. You see the emotion of a high D is passion. However, it is often perceived as them always being angry and red-faced. That's why we use the color red for the dominant person. Yes, they are probably going to have a short fuse because they want to get things done. Now, here's something that I want you to understand. Just because the graph is very high with that red bar, the graph can also be very low over at the red bar. And what that tells you is that these people may not express themselves with passion or a show of anger, but they are going to have a little bit longer fuse and be willing to work with you.

[00:02:31] But how do we use that high D, in a church, and how are they going to help the church achieve its objective in the kingdom? Well, first of all, you have to remember that they are bottom line organizers and they're self-starters. They are strategic thinkers. They're always thinking about tomorrow. Yes, I know what the Bible says worry about today, don't worry about tomorrow. But without a little bit of planning, if we look into the Book of Luke, we see that will a king take an army of 10,000 against an enemy of 20,000. These are the strategic thinkers that we need to count the cost before we actually get into some sort of challenge. Another thing is they place a very high value on time. 

[00:03:33] So if you have an appointment with one of these people, know that you're only going to get a snippet of time. If you see their eyes glazing over a little bit, you've lost them. So use those bullet points. Use the short phrases. Talk to them in concepts because they love the challenge. They're the kind of people that you see in court, the two lawyers that just try to eat each other up and spit each other out. And then they go have lunch together. They are competitive people. They initiate activity because they want to get things done. So when you look at them, what's their body language like? They're going to have gestures, but they're going to be abrupt stop and they're going to be pointing with a tendency to lean forward and kind of be in your face. They're also going to have very direct eye contact with you. Now, here's something we have to remember. When I grew up, my dad said, if a person will look you in the eyes, they're lying to you. That's not true. The high dominant person is going to look you in the eyes because they want to be in your space long enough to get you to move forward. Their speech is always going to be fairly fast paced and they're going to want to quickly get to the point. As we mentioned earlier, you're only going to have a snippet of time compared to someone who is more introverted. We color them red because of that emotion of passion, not just anger. That's why they tend to look and appear as impatient. 

[00:05:36] Now, the next thing I'll bet you want to know is how do we make ministry rewarding to these people? Give them something they can lead, something which they can develop a strategy, something that they can make those decisions on. They want to be asked. And these are the type of people that if you don't ask them to do something, they won't be there very long. Give them an opportunity to be a part of something that's happening in your fellowship. You can start them off with something small if you want to test them. But remember, if you don't involve them and you don't give them an opportunity to handle the project, they're probably not gonna last long. So use those fast paced conversations with bullet points. You don't have to do a lot of details. They'll expect you to understand the details, but don't get a whole lot of them into the conversation. And most of all, please don't be emotional with them because they see emotion as weakness. Let them have a little bit of autonomy and you need to follow up on occasion with them to hold them accountable, because sometimes they will put more on their plate than they can actually get done.

[00:07:21] Now, the biggest question you probably have is how do I get what I want from somebody that has that dominant. I'll tell you a secret. Give them options. Now. How do you tell them something or say no to a person that needs options. Joe or Mary, yes, we can do that. However, if we take our time and don't act so rapidly, we can build a backlog of information that will allow us to not have a gap. Now, I'll do this right now for you if you want, or if you'll give me a little bit of time to get my research and other things done, I think will have a better result. Which would you prefer? So when you give them those options, you're going to be the one who makes the options. Therefore, who's really in control. 

[00:08:38] Now, I want to ask you a question. How high is your D? I want you to look at the graphic and see if the words that are on that graphic that fit with the score and your assessment results resound to you. For example, if you are a 100 D, you probably fairly quick to anger because you have a short fuse and you're very passionate. If you're around that 70 to 80 range, you're probably aggressive and brave. Where 70, you can be forceful and competitive, but not all the time. At 60, you're much more decisive and goal oriented. Where then when we get to the midline 50, we call this the moderate or situational place, and this has everything to do with what you think is important for this particular type of situation. If you're in that mid-range, you are going to have that passion and perhaps even get angry if things don't go your way if it's important to you. If it's not that important to you, then you're probably not going to be as forceful in the way that you approach it. Now, let's get down to the lower scores where at 40, you're a little bit more gentle and accommodating. Again, unless it's really important, at 30, you can be conservative and cautious where at 20 you tend to be much more agreeable, unobtrusive. And down to the ten and the five and the four and the three, then you can actually be indecisive at times. And those of us that are indecisive at times may only find that certain things are critically important to you. Let me give you an example of that. If your house is on fire, you're not going to go in and say, Hey, kids, we need to get up. The house is on fire and we need to get out. No, of course not. You're going to say, get up. We got to get out of here. So even an indecisive person can display passion or anger or impatience, depending on the situation that they're in. 

[00:11:38] Next. I bet you're wondering on how the high dominant person is going to work within the body of Christ. So let's talk about four different things. What resources do they bring to the body of Christ? Well, first of all, and this may sound a little strange to you, but it's faith and confidence in God's word. A high dominant person is either going to believe it or they're not. Next, they are very focused and directed to accomplishing much for God. In other words, they want to make a mark. They have that sense of urgency in any ministry involvement that they are involved with. But they also bring some liabilities to us, and that is they may not always appear loving and embracing to you. And you have to understand that they're not mad at you. They're frustrated because they're not getting everything done that they think they need to do. So when they come off as a bit abrasive to you, take a deep breath. And ask them a question like, could you say that in a different way so that I make sure I understand exactly what you want me to do?

[00:13:18] You see, another liability is that they probably do not start or have long term relationships. Why? Because they're ticking off the boxes as they go through life. And their focus is accomplishment and movement and getting things done for God. It's that Martha syndrome that we have seen. And yes, it's better to sit at the feet of Jesus but the people that are sitting at the feet of Jesus need the Marthas to allow things to get done so that they can sit there. They may be impatient and take on too much too soon. 

[00:14:16] Now you're probably asking, how did they want to serve in the body of Christ? Well, first of all, they want to be involved in bold, high profile campaigns and obviously leading them. They want to launch ministries or Bible studies. They want to define projects that have very clear objectives so that they know where they're going and they can go there quickly. But even though they want to serve in that capacity, they have spiritual needs, just like all of us. You see, they need to focus more on prayer, humility and caring. Leaders often are loners. And therefore, because the high D is a control specialist, they need to often times to stop and check whether they're working for themselves or whether they're working for God on his plan and not theirs. They love and need to be a part of some sort of prayer program. They need to be involved in a way to where prayer becomes a natural part of their life. If they're not, they tend to fall back into the me or the ego syndrome. You see, they need to focus on others and their needs in order to accomplish God's purpose in their lives.

[00:16:14] So let's summarize here some key points you want to remember. High dominant people are fast paced. They use sharp hand gestures. And their emotional driver is passion. And that's why we color them red. They love rewarding ministries, including leading, strategizing and making decisions. Now I have a question for you. Who do you know in your ministry that is fast paced and wanting to get things done, and sometimes may be uncaring? How do you love somebody like that? You love them because you know they're going to get things done and you can depend on them if they are asked to head up a campaign. So look around in your ministry. Who acts this way? Who performs under pressure? Who is the one out there leading in front? Who is the one that is always busy? Because busy people are the ones that you can ask to get things done and depend that it will happen. Do you have any questions? 

[00:17:44] When you have a elder group that has leaders or a pastor that is high D and presents things in terms of facts and logic and tasks and is task oriented in that way, how do the elders in that kind of a situation help the congregation understand what the what the nature of that relationship is and how important it is to have a leader like that? 

[00:18:25] That's a good question, because normally your leaders are going to have that high dominant level and they are going to have goals and objectives that they set forth. And some of the people are going to ask questions like, how are we going to do that? And the important thing to remember is that God brings diversity to the body of Christ, and it's going to take the people that, shall we say, are more followers than leaders to help fill in those gaps. We're going to see in the other behaviors that a lot of times the introverts, which is the larger part of the population, is going to be that glue that keeps things stuck together. So in communicating to the congregation, help them understand that, yes, this person is a high dominant. Yes, this person is passionate. Yes, this person is always thinking of the next day. But what do we have to do to build in the support system? And that may be by asking them questions, do you have time frames? What are the options if we can achieve this objective? Or providing them with options on how we can get to that? Maybe not in the time frame that they wanted, but in a time frame that the remainder of the ministry finds feasible. 

[00:20:03] And how does a high D person respond or develop relationships knowing that some people are going to respond emotionally rather than based on the the facts or the direction at hand? . 

[00:20:26] That's a great question. Also, because the high dominance mind works fast probably anywhere between 100 and 120% of normal. So the high dominant person is going to have to take a deep breath when they come into any meeting, any conversation with other people and slow down. They have to remember that their norm is going from paragraph one to paragraph three to paragraphs seven to paragraph ten. And they have a tendency to lose other people because their brain is working faster than their mouth. So the number one thing I would remind a high dominant person of is, could you say that another way? Could you explain it from a different perspective of how are we supposed to fill this sound? And that will get them to slow down the pace so that they're easier to grasp?