Understanding Your Personality and Mindset - Lesson 1

Dr. Chuck Coker
Understanding Your Personality and Mindset
pc312-01
Description of Personalities and Mindsets
Lesson Transcript

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome. Thank you for joining us, because I want to share with you today something that is very critical since you're in a place or a position of leadership within the kingdom of Christ. There's something that you need to know, and that is how well do you really know yourself or how well do you really know the person that God created you to be? Because once you understand that, it's going to have a significant difference in the way that you work with your staff and those in volunteers in your ministry. Because you see God's called you to play a role in his kingdom. So the first thing that you have to consider are the steps that he took to prepare you for that specific role. And if we go to Jeremiah one five and hear that phrase about God knitting us together to be the person while we were still in our mother's wombs, it's going to help us better understand that he gave us a specific type of personality to meet the needs for such a time as this. Our goal in this session is going to be to help you find your calling and deepen that understanding so that you are able to communicate in a way that other people understand. Paul tells us that we are to become all things to all people for the gospel. In order to do that, you have to become self aware, because communication is based on the listener, not just you as a speaker. Because when you're under stress or when you're under the lights or wherever it might be, you're going to revert to your core behavioral style. And only a portion of the people that you're communicating with are going to be able to understand that behavioral style. 

[00:02:22] So what we're going to do now is we're going to dig into a way that will help you better understand the people that you're interacting with. We're going to use an old tried and true behavioral profile structure called DISC. Now, why are we using that? First of all, it's important to understand that, are there other things out there that may be more popular today? Well, yeah, there are a lot of things that are, but what I want to do is give you a simple approach to understanding the people that you're interacting with. Now, it's not completely simplistic, but if you study people. And if you love people, you will study them because people come into the kingdom one person at a time and they need that personal interaction that Paul was discussing. So using the DISC system is going to help you identify how to classify and understand not to put a person in a box, but to help you better understand and communicate with them. So DISC defines behaviors. 

[00:03:52] Now, let me tell you why we're using that. Behaviors are a way in which you act and conduct yourself, especially when you're interacting with other people. Your words are only 10 to 12% important. Your tone of voice, on the other hand, and the pace with which you communicate is 30-32% important. But even more important to that, your body language, the way that you project yourself, is between 51 and 55% important. So our natural tendency is that we are going to rationalize who we think we are and how we think everybody else should react to us. The key to emotional intelligence and the key to becoming the person that God created you to be is to understand yourself in the context of other people. When you understand yourself from that context, you'll be able to communicate in a way that they understand. 

[00:05:09] So why are we going to consider behaviors? I think the most important thing is it's going to improve your communication and relationships. Additionally, it will actually help you understand the other person better so that the decisions that you make are going to be much more meaningful to them. Also, it's going to allow you to develop a deeper acceptance of why you are the way you are and why God created you that way. And if you don't understand that, how can you achieve your purpose? So as we go through today's lesson, we're going to lay a foundation for how to actually adapt your communication in a way that helps you minimize misunderstanding and will clarify your point so that when you do that, people will be much more readily able to buy into what you're asking them to do and the direction that you're giving them. 

[00:06:21] Now, when we think about DISC, it's an approach that we can actually see and hear. Everybody has a bit of a mixture. In other words, the four categories that I'm going to share with you today are aspects that we all have at least a little bit of. And some of them, we're going to have more. But each of us has a default. We're going to default in a certain way during certain periods of times, and the stronger that default, the more readily you will move into that behavioral style, especially under stress or duress. Now, remember, everybody's a mixture. The important thing for you to remember, though, is that one particular style is not right or wrong, good or bad. It's just different. And each of the four aspects are going to help you identify what is different about that person.

[00:07:32] When we talk about the high dominance level, we're going to talk about control. How does the person want to control? When we talk about the high I, the influencing person, we're going to talk more about concepts from an extroverted standpoint that allow a person to want to communicate and share their heart with you and help you better understand how they feel. Switching over to the introverted side, we're going to talk about a high S that is much more relaxed, much more consistent. They don't like change, but they're very caring and nurturing. And trust me, they are the glue that keeps us stuck together as a group. Now, the task oriented introvert is called a high C or compliant because they're very analytical, systematic, accurate, meticulous, and they want to make sure that everything that they do is reliable. 

[00:08:38] So let's think now, as we move into these behaviors that this is how God created you. He created you this way so that you can accomplish his purpose. Everyone is unique. So let's break these styles down. First of all, let's talk about the extroverts. They're fast paced. They're going to move quickly. And they may seem impatient at times because they think out loud and they have external conversations to help us make decisions or formulate an opinion. You see, an extrovert is in such a hurry that they want you to think out loud so that they can formulate an opinion. It's a little shortcut that they use subconsciously, so when they think out loud, they're going to tell you what they want. Not so much ask you, but they will tell you what they want. They are much more comfortable in larger groups. As a matter of fact, they actually feed off of the energy from those larger groups and watch them. They will actually lean into the conversations that you're having with them. 

[00:10:13] But on the other hand, there's this other group and the majority of the population that is introverted. They're slower paced because they're thinking before they're speaking. And extroverts sometimes see them as slow or indecisive when in fact their brains work in probably as fast, if not faster, than the extroverts, because they're having internal conversations with themselves that are energized by the thoughts of what you have said out loud. However, when they interact with you, they're probably going to ask you a question about what they want to accomplish. You see, they're much more comfortable with an individual or small groups, which allows them to be not so much under the microscope. So watch them. If they lean away from the conversation or don't have that really expressive look on their face, they're thinking they're processing and it doesn't mean they're slower. It just means that they're trying to put things into the right context.

[00:11:41] Now, the third area that we want to consider is the thinker. They are much more task oriented. They are more focused on how and what needs to be done. But don't think it's because they don't like people. They do like people. They just want to make sure that what they're asking the person to do is actually going to get done. You see, they're actually energized by the action and work that is before them that they need to perform. 

[00:12:19] Now let's think about the other side, the feelers, the people oriented that are going to be very cautious and very supportive and trying not to be in your face and helpful to you. You see, they're much more focused on how whatever needs to be done is going to actually impact people. They do want to accomplish things because they love other people's approval. You see, they are energized by relationships and human interaction. They want to make sure that they are approved of. And you may see them as a little bit insecure. But trust me, it's not that they are just insecure, it's that they have a tendency to want to please. 

[00:13:19] Now, let's put all of these things together. People oriented people can complete tasks and thinkers can actually feel. So when we think about doing this, what it tells us is that we must go past the whole concept of I understand myself. We need to understand who we are interacting with so that we can adjust, rephrase and put it into a perspective that they're going to understand. Because the behaviors that we have express an inclination towards task people and the pace that we're going to move out. But we have to be careful of who we're talking to. So before we actually get into the details of each one of these specific behaviors, I'd like for you to ask yourself, how much of each of these four types do you think you have? You're going to have aspects of each, but your uniqueness was designed by God for his purpose, not yours.