Engaged Leadership - Lesson 5

Well, welcome back. We're in session five now and just a brief overview, we've identified how to help you better understand whether you are more leadership or management oriented and how that's going to impact the people that you interact with on your staff and within your ministry. Next, we focused on the fact that if you don't build trust within your organization, people are not going to engage.

They're not going to fully embrace their roles. And it's critical that we do that because people are our focus. They're our attention.

And if we don't execute on those five constructs of trust, they won't move in and become actively engaged. And last session, we focused on the fact that we have to have a positive perspective of conflict, because when we have that positive approach to conflict, we don't see it as a negative factor, but we see it as a way to facilitate the growth and the development and the engagement of our team so that we bring a strong sense of wellness to our organization and the people that work within it. Because remember, the people that work and minister through your ministry are going to be your greatest spokesperson and they will do more attracting people and bringing them to your ministry than any other group, except those people perhaps that have a testimony that will blow you away.

But now it's time to change gears. We need to think about the fact that we can have people trust us and we can even manage conflict to a point to where it becomes beneficial to us. But what happens after that? We have to take them to a point of engagement through personal interaction as well as group interaction.

You see, feedback is so critical to our being able to coach and develop the people that we work with. I'd love to dig in now to feedback because feedback is something that actually unroots and roots out the tensions that may exist, especially if we've just been through a high anxiety conflict issue. Feedback is a performance booster.

It allows us to bring people in and help them understand how to take that next step. But most of all, when we have feedback with an individual, it helps us deepen those aspects of trust that are so critical to moving through this process. And then it helps our team perform at its best, and it causes people to believe in one another.

And without that belief, there is no engagement, because if there is an engagement, here's what's actually going to happen to you. You're going to have people that are late. They're tardy constantly.

They're not going to pay attention to the detail that needs to be focused on, especially when you have very specific issues that need to be addressed. But more than anything, it actually avoids that water cooler drama that happens when people gather together and begin talking about the fact that Steve said this and that's not doctrinally correct or whatever it might be. You see, here's the thing that we have to understand.

Some employees are going to be responsive to feedback and others simply aren't. Now, if you look below the video screen, you'll see a link to what's called our Coachability Index. That Coachability Index will give you an upfront look at an individual before they ever sit down to the desk or whenever they become involved in ministry experiences.

It's going to tell you about their humility, about their desire to be motivated, giving and receiving feedback. And will they actually do something with it? Because we want to focus not just on ministry success, but individual success. Because when we build strong ministry members, what do we do? We make a stronger ministry.

And that's the critical part of what we're trying to do. Make our ministry count and do it by watching the key elements of what is important. Now, let's think about this, because leaders and employees or people that work in your ministry want two very different things.

You see, as a ministry, we want to know, can you do the job and will you do the job? And that's good, because if you can't, then there's going to be a long ramp up time and the potential of failure as well as success. But on the other hand, if I'm involved in this ministry and I have a passion for this ministry, I'm going to want to know two things. Do I have a positive environment to work in? And can I grow and develop myself both physically, mentally and spiritually? Can I grow personally and professionally? Well, the fact is, is that your ministry has the ability to align these things so that it's not adversarial.

Rather than just about what the company cares about and what the individual cares about needs to be aligned because it can be aligned and we can begin to then identify how an individual's career goals can actually help serve the organization and in serving that organization, they become more and more engaged. We accomplish more and we advance the cause of Christ in the process. So here's the one thing, though, that you have to watch during feedback and coaching an individual.

First of all, our need to learn and grow versus the need to be accepted as we are. These seem like they may be adversarial, but in fact, they are not. When these feelings begin to arise, it's important that we find ways to collaborate, that we find ways to integrate ourselves into the situation and actually empathize with the individual.

Because when we're empathizing, there's a way to manage through the process. There's a way to get to the triggers that may push back on the feedback when all, in fact, we're trying to do is invest in the person. And remember, this whole section has been focused on bringing people in and keeping people in so that they can take the next steps to their personal growth and development.

So what are the things that we actually need to watch for? What are some of the triggers that may cause a person to say, "Whoa, whoa, I'm not liking this feedback. I want to step back. I don't want to get involved or I'm not going to listen at all." And they shut down. Now, let's take a look at this next graphic, because I want you to understand that there may be some triggers that are actually going to have an impact on how receptive the person is to feedback and coaching. 

So there's truth triggers, these are set off by the content. The individual may not be attached to see the value in or even may have some significant objections to the feedback that you're actually trying to give them. So if there are factors that they don't find completely as truth, they may shut down.

How do you avoid these kind of triggers? Always by leading in with the kind of question that starts off something like this: "You know, there's several doctrines in our ministry that we really espouse. Do you have any special doctrines that are important to you, especially since this is a ministry to the homeless or this is a ministry to children or whatever it might be?" Focus on identifying, first of all, if they have any pushback points ahead of time.

That way we can identify anything that might be truth triggers that may cause them to shut down during the feedback process. The second thing that is also extremely important is the fact that there can be relational triggers. There can be a situation where the person providing the feedback might be a different behavioral style or have mindsets that are not as closely aligned with the person.

And therefore, they may say, "Bill, I don't agree with you. Therefore, I am not going to listen to what you have to say." One of the things that we discovered as we created the Coachability Index was the fact that an individual has to be willing to listen to a person that they may not specifically relate to, but has the ability to present them with information that can actually help them grow and develop.

And so as you think about relationship triggers, as they may enter your particular ministry, if there is one person that maybe rubs you a little bit wrong, it's important that you focus not on the person and their personality, but the issue that you're actually trying to address. And when you do that, you can actually walk away with something that's positive and productive during the process. The last of our triggers are identity triggers.

What about our sense of self? One of the challenges that we find in ministry today is that many people pick and choose and focus on a ministry where they have deficiencies because they're not just trying to help others, but they're really trying to help themselves. And this may be subconscious or conscious, because we find that many people in ministry have challenges that they can't solve themselves, that they hope will be solved in the ministry process. So a sense of self is extremely important.

And there needs to be an understanding during that process that those things can actually interrupt. Our ability to give and receive feedback properly. So what we have to think about is when we focus on feedback, this can be a learning and growth experience, not just from us giving the feedback, but receiving feedback from other people in the process, too.

Because most of us that have spent any time living with the Holy Spirit as guidance can tell us that a baby Christian can teach us something, regardless of how long we've been around. So there's both learning and growth opportunities. Now, if you want to actually achieve learning and growth during the feedback process, make sure you articulate your opinions more so in the form of a question like, "Have you ever thought about it this way?" Or "Do you have an opinion about this particular concept or theological principle?" But more importantly than that, even, are you able to retain the ability to be open to new ideas? If you're not open to new ideas in the process, how can you possibly learn? We have to balance these skills that it's a learning and growth process.

We have a chance to articulate our opinions, but we also may and need to be open to other opinions. So let's talk about some of the feedback skills. I've given you some examples here in this next graphic of assertiveness.

It's a key trait. It's a willingness to express our ideas and opinions. You see, it's easier for the high DI because they tend to verbalize more.

And the utilitarian and individualistic is also going to allow us to solicit ideas because when we talk to the introvert, they've analyzed it already. And the extrovert's all about taking the fastest and quickest way to the process. Let's talk about openness because openness is a trait that you can see is demonstrated much more so in the people oriented and theoretical process because they not only want to interact with other people, but they want to deal with specific issues.

And if they have that low traditional mindset, they're going to be open to people, their ideas and the concepts that go along with them. So the conversations are going to be wide open. And that's what you want.

You want a great dialogue and discourse during the feedback process. Otherwise, they won't feel the freedom and the empowerment to actually put that process into effect. The higher the traditional, though, the more the person's going to want to structure things and do the way that they think they need to be done.

So look at your profile. Look at the person that you're working with. And you'll begin to understand much more in the ability to get where you need to be.

Now, when we're in that feedback process, what happens at times? Well, first of all, in feedback, there may be conflict that's actually going to occur during the process because what we've noticed in many of the surveys is that well over 50% and closer to 60% of people that are receiving feedback, either on an annual or quarterly review, look at it as a negative experience. That's sad. Why? Because people think that this is just this person's emotional response and the mood that they're in that particular day.

And they don't take it as something valuable. That's why it's critical during the feedback and the coaching process that you meet on a regular basis. You can't just do quarterly or annual reviews because when you do, your nature is to remember the things that are closest and use that to judge and value the individual.

It's human nature. You do not need to dominate the response during the feedback and coaching process. It's important that when you get to a point to where you feel like you're running up against a wall, you do something very important.

And that's called 'label it and table it.' We put it on the shelf for right now, especially if you're dealing with an introverted person, because they need time to process. They need time to mentally work through the process so that as they do that, they can then begin to find solutions that may work that haven't been brought up in the discourse before.

And if you don't give them that process, they tend to shut down and you don't want them to shut down. You want them to collaborate because they will think of things very differently than most leaders. You have to grow from the feedback.

You have to be proactive, looking for a way to improve. Otherwise, the feedback is never rewarded from the person given to the person receiving. You see, people that explicitly seek feedback get higher performance ratings.

Why? Because they're learning things that they need to know. They're actually bringing in information that will help them grow and develop. That growth mindset is what moves a person to a higher level of emotional intelligence and ability to serve and minister in ways that you may not have considered in the past.

So, let's move now from giving feedback to accepting constructive feedback. Here's some steps that you might want to take. First of all, ask questions.

We talked last sessions, and I'll remind you of the fact that there's only two responses to a statement. They can agree or disagree. But when we ask questions, we are asking from a collaborative perspective. And when we ask for collaboration, our chances of success are elevated extremely. Then, focus on making sure that you avoid those triggers. Get bite-sized pieces of the feedback.

And be honest enough to where you can say, "What's the one thing you see me doing or failing to do that's holding you back from growth and development?" That requires humility on the part of the leader. But it also is going to help the person that you're giving feedback or coaching with the ability to relate to you as an individual. And when they can relate to you, the trust increases, the conflict decreases, and they're able to accept the feedback and actually put it into motion.

We all have to seek coaching. Coaching is not equal to evaluation. So, we can't really confuse the two of them.

We just have to make sure that as we go through this process, we unpack the feedback that we're given, analyze it before we accept or reject it, and set aside this whole thing of making snap decisions. "I got the answers, you don't, just because I'm older than you." But most of all, take the time to build follow-up questions that bring the engagement of the other person in and make them feel like "I'm collaborating, I'm not dominating."

Take the time to just do small experiences. Test out the advice, even if you think it's unuseful. I know this may show my age, but about 30 years ago, there was a book written called Whack Upside Your Head. And it was about people in an organization, no matter whether they wore ties or janitor's clothing, you bring your ideas, put them on the table, regardless of how silly they may seem. And then you let them rest.

You go to lunch. You come back. You take those ideas and you allow the group to filter through them and find the ones that are most productive for the ministry that you're working in and how to implement them in the best fashion.

Once you do that, then you can find objectively what's going to work best for the group and how it can be applied better through the process. Now, as a leader, you have a massive responsibility as the executive or shall we say as the 'adult' in the process. You can't just depend on the environment that you're in, the emotions that are there, the triggers that are going to make people think or feel a little bit differently.

But what you have to do is bring it into a place to where you're not sacrificing the message. You may just be reframing or retrofitting it to the environment that you're in, because oftentimes, as we know, God's timing is not always our timing. But timing is critical to reaching the point to where you're enriching an individual rather than tearing them down.

Now, let's think about something else. We can't do, as I mentioned earlier, performance reviews on an annual basis. Reviews need to start in the onboarding process.

The first six months of an individual's employment with an organization is where they decide whether this is a place I want to be or not. And they will make up their mind during that time. And we can't afford to let that first six months be a time when they are not only not engaged, but they're not doing the things that allow them to grow and develop.

Like peer shadowing, peer feedback, and opportunities to work with their supervisor or manager. Because when they do, it can become the enriching experience that says, "I've got a real future here. I have the ability to grow and develop."

Several years ago, I did a survey with 1,683 executives in both for-profit and non-profit organizations. And of those 1,600, 1,206 had eight common issues. Of those eight issues, six of the eight were people related.

So how important does feedback come now? Let me illustrate. The number one factor for organizations not being performance-based, profitable-based, or achieving the objectives they wanted were due to finances. Number one, 74%.

But close behind it, number two, at 72%, is there is no career path. There is no developmental process. And how many people come into your ministry today saying, "Where do I go? What do I do? How can I grow and develop?" And that's why 70% burn out after five years.

So that onboarding time with peer shadowing, peer feedback, and assigning new responsibilities where feedback is almost expected will allow them to develop that growth mindset. The other thing that we discovered was since 75% of the issues that held an organization back were people-oriented, how do we develop a process that brings the people in even though we know they have to be evaluated? Even though we know that without that, they can't possibly improve. We have to have a process that is not 58/59% negative, but we have to bring one that is 70 plus percent positive.

And the way we do that is, yes, we do the numerical evaluation of certain points. That's the objective aspect of it. But as I said, that can be negative.

But we add two critical components to that that now draws the employee in. Number one, a 360 review. 360 reviews allows the individual to be evaluated anonymously by their peers, their subordinates, their managers.

And of course, we want to identify how they view themselves. Because the more ego-driven an individual is, the higher they're going to rate themselves. But their peers and managers may rate them lower.

And if that is the case, what have we done? We've actually discovered a stress point for that team. We may see poorly performing people, but great performing leader, when in fact they're inducing stress. And that's why there's a problem with the people in that organization.

And last, but definitely not least, is what we call management by objectives or a personal development plan. We said in an earlier session that adults don't like to be directed. They like to be involved in the growth and development process.

And in doing that, if they are allowed to develop their personal development plan or the objectives that they're actually working on, they are 70% more likely to achieve them than if they were dictated by their manager. Because people aren't dumb, they realize that they are incentivized by what the company wants, not what they're trying to achieve personally.

So how do we take this feedback and coaching process and make it actually work in your environment, with your staff, with your volunteers, and those that are ministering the gospel? Well, first of all, you want to create feedback windows. Let your people know that you're paying special attention to them and their performance over a period of time. Secondly, remember that immediacy and specificity is critical.

We talked earlier about clarity trumping persuasion. So we want to avoid waiting to deliver feedback. But most important, don't spend the afternoon there. Make it short and sweet. And make sure that there is positive feedback involved in this process. Never fail to make a hero, and do it publicly. For those of you that haven't had the chance, there's a book that's been around for a while that you'll want to dig into. And it's called The One Minute Manager.

It will tell you exactly how to correct and exactly how to encourage in less than 35 or 40 pages. So let's summarize what we've learned. Feedback is critical to extending the trust process.

So that when we involve ourselves in conflict that can truly be positive for our organization and ministry, then we have to solidify that with the kind of coaching and the kind of feedback that's necessary to maintain the engagement. Because if they do not continue to be engaged and walk through this process on a continual basis, sooner or later they get tired. They lose the vision that you've tried to create.

So I encourage you to try the link below the video here and take the Coachability Index. And in doing that, it'll help you understand how you give and receive feedback and coaching. Do that with your staff.

I think it'll pay dividends you never expected.