Engaged Leadership - Lesson 7

And welcome back to session seven of Engaged Leadership. This is a very special session because charisma that naturally follows a person of integrity is something that most people immediately discount within their own lives. But as you're going to see, charisma is a gift and that gift is something that God gives us when he wants to exalt us.

That's why Jesus uses the example of when you come into a party, sit at the end of the table. Otherwise, if you sit at the front and someone more "important," quote unquote, comes in, you'll be moved to the back, but sit at the back so that you can be exalted. That's how God works with us.

And he implants in each and every one of us aspects of charisma. And that can be the knowledge that you have, the understanding, the wisdom, whatever gifting he has given you can be an opportunity to draw other people to you. And that's really what charisma is.

It's the grace for other people to see you as to how God created you. Now, what drives charisma? Well, first of all, it's the empathy that an individual displays and the sense of attachment that they come to you with. There's many articles written on emotional intelligence and one of the things that is one of the greatest aspects of development of emotional intelligence is being able to make that connection.

The connection is almost referred to in every sense as having empathy for the other person, finding a way to attach yourself, because whether you think you have something in common with another person, trust me, you do. Everybody eats. Everybody goes to school to some extent or another.

Everyone has relationships. So there are multiple ways that you can gain that bond with your peers and other friends. You see, people see themselves represented in a leader, but people like to be eager to work with you if you are displaying the qualities that God gave you.

And let me assure you of something. As a creator of a spiritual gifts assessment that has been used in over 128 countries at this point, I have never seen anyone score zero on their spiritual gifts. God gives each and every one of us something that will allow us to minister once the Holy Spirit comes into our life, because that's what spiritual gifts are, is a way to minister to the body.

And when other people see us ministering to others, they are naturally attracted to us. So the question we have to ask ourselves is where does it come from? Well, it comes from three places. First of all, there's a power that God gives us with the knowledge and with that gifting that he has implanted in our mind and our heart.

That power allows us to do things and express ourselves in ways that other people can't, not because they're wrong, not because they're bad, but because they're different. If you go back to our initial lessons, we talked about the fact that behaviors are not right or wrong, they're different. We talked about mindsets because mindsets are the priorities that God has put in our mind through our parents, our educators, and our friends.

But the second aspect of the origins of charisma is in the warmth that the Holy Spirit gives you and the way that you purvey that warmth to other people. Now, here's something we all know. If we have been an unbeliever or even an agnostic during our early lives, and I'm gonna use an example because my uncle Jim had been an agnostic until he was 93 years old.

And when he was in the hospital and I had a chance to be alone with him, he prayed the sinner's prayer and committed to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. He said, "You know, Chuck, I feel different. And I feel warm inside."

Those are the words of a baby Christian because God's presence gives us that warmth that will attract other people to us. And with that warmth, people can literally feel the presence of God with us. While Jesus was described as Emmanuel, God with us, so the Holy Spirit comes into us and we exert the presence of the Holy Spirit in us.

So God gives us the power to pray for people, to do things that are way beyond our natural capabilities, but do it with warmth and love and bring the presence of him into our lives and thereby into the lives of other people. You see, power gives us the ability to affect the world or the sphere of influence that God has given us. Warmth allows us to provide goodwill and grace to other people.

And the presence that God gives us is that situational awareness to where we can pivot on a dime if we have to, but we can become the Jesus that the person needs to see with his presence in and of us. Now, here's the good thing, is that God has actually implanted us through the Holy Spirit. The roots of some of these aspects with our natural behaviors and others, we all work on.

It's a matter of God's not gonna clean everything up in our life and salvation. He's gonna give us that sanctification process so that we can take the roots that we've got and build them and make them stronger. It's just like exercise builds our muscles.

We're going to go through that. So let's think about it as we begin to consider each of these three aspects and how each can add to the charisma that God is naturally giving us as a gift. You see, as you look at the graphic on our ancestral instincts, you'll see that power is there in the whole concept of fight or flight.

Now, if we look at James, it says, "resist the devil and he will flee." But there is also power in prayer. There is also the ability to reach way beyond who we are as individuals.

And only the Holy Spirit can give us that power. That warmth helps us decide whether this is a friend or foe. And remember that God has not given us what? "The spirit of fear, but of love and power and self-control," according to 2 Timothy 1:7. So when we realize that we want to run or we're facing a foe, remember that as a believer, "greater is he that's in you that's in the world" because we are going to be oppressed.

We cannot be possessed, but we can be oppressed. So as we think about this power and that's warmth, we have to maintain our presence. We have to remain focused and not distracted so that when we call on the Holy Spirit, these ancestral instincts that we normally rely on or the body never gets saved.

But we know that that war is here between the spirit and the body. So we have the spirit's power so that we don't have to run unless it is something that we know we have a weakness for and we need to hightail it out of there. In other words, we don't expose ourselves to things that we know are problematic for us.

We can be the friend even to the people that challenges us because we remain focused. So how do we foster this sense of internal power? Well, it boils down to, do we have the confidence that God is with us? I think this is critical that we go to a couple Proverbs that remind us of the fact that he is always with us. Think about Proverbs 16:9, "A man may plot out the course of his life, but it is the Lord who orders his steps." Now that thought is finished in Proverbs 20:24, where it says, "The Lord orders a man's steps because what does a man know about his own way?" We have to realize that even though God orders our steps to great things and to blessings, he also orders our steps to the trials that will refine us and make us into the people he created us to be. That's his intention.

So when you're troubled, praise him for the good things. Don't just accept the fact that you have anxiety and that you're angry. Praising for the good things and show the gratitude and the peace of the Lord will come to you.

Have the confidence that he can bring to your life. Now, having confidence is not always easy, especially if you have a low individualistic mindset. You may always want to defer to others, but God did not create just other people.

He created you for purpose. And that purpose is realizing that if you have that high individualistic mindset, you will be more confident, but then you have to struggle with the whole concept of ego. It's going to be harder for the SC who internalizes things and has a propensity to overthink or dwell on things for any length of time.

So even if it doesn't come naturally for you, it's important that you realize that the internal power of the Holy Spirit can in fact empower you to do things that you don't have the natural ability to do. Let me give you a very quick example. I'm here sharing things today with you that are not just coming from me, that are coming from the Holy Spirit.

You see, our life is like a file cabinet. And in that file cabinet are drawers. And inside those drawers are file folders. These are the experiences of our life. And as I stand here and teach you, and as you speak to other people, God will bring things to your mind. He'll pull one of those file folders out as an example so that you can communicate spiritual principles.

And that's all we're doing here now. The older I get, the more I realize how little I know and that how fortunate I am to be able to share, but none of that comes from me. It comes from the Holy Spirit, digging up things that are long forgotten.

And He'll do the same thing for you. That's how He builds charisma. That's the grace that He extends to you.

Remember what Stephen said? Don't worry about what you're gonna say before you're called into an area of confrontation. Don't worry. Jesus said it. Stephen was exposed to it. You don't have to worry. God will give you the words.

If it doesn't come natural, it's okay. The internal power of the Holy Spirit will take you there. Now, this next is a little exercise that I want you to do.

I realize you're watching by video, but I just want you to stand up for just a minute. I want you to put everything down and adopt a position of a military general. And imagine that you are just overseeing this massive battalion of troops, marching in order.

Close your eyes. See what it feels like, standing there with the chin up, head raised, knowing that God created you for a purpose. Do you feel the energy coming in and through you? How do I know? Because even a blind person assumes these poses when they succeed at something or they are awarded something for achieving success.

The physical literally precedes the thought. And as you think about that, your energy level will increase. The power within you from that peace will allow the Holy Spirit to speak through you.

Another example is either visualization or meditation. Sports athletes have proven over and over again that visualization and meditation on the things that they must do is actually as good as practicing it physically. So close your eyes and relax like you're getting ready to pray.

Recall the experiences while you've got your eyes closed in that military position. And recall past experiences when God has just blessed you, when he's called you to something and there's been a response. Hear the sounds, the murmurs of approval, the applause, and see the smiles on people's faces as they express the praise and worship that God has worked in and through you for his purpose.

Then think about the hugs and the handshakes, the feelings, the confidence that God is giving you. The same way the disciples came back to Jesus and said, "Lord, even the spirits flee." And then He reminded them of what's really important.

Not so much that the demons obey you, but that you're saved. That's the real power. If you practice this daily, God will give you that sense of accomplishment and help order your steps into the path with the feelings and attitudes that he has gifted you the way that you need to be gifted to develop that warmth and capacity that can only be demonstrated through humility and interest in others.

I love Billy Graham's saying of the fact that people come into the kingdom one at a time. If you study 1 John 2:12-14, you'll see multiple stages in the progression of Christian maturity. It looks like three in our English Bible, but there are actually four.

'Paideion,' 'technion' are the references to a child. One is to an infant, totally dependent child. The second is to a learning child who's growing and developing.

The young man with these great feats that they accomplish, maybe they're for show, we don't know, but they are accomplishing and defeating Satan and achieving great things. But the real step, the ultimate step that we all hope to achieve is that of pater, a church father who understands from the beginning. In other words, they understand cause and effect and how it's going to affect you in your spiritual life.

So by demonstrating that humility of being willing to grow, yes, achieve things that will aid the kingdom's growth and development because that's our role. But then moving to a place of cause and effect and teaching that through discipleship is where you display the warmth and empathy that is necessary for you to mature spiritually. Now, it's gonna be easier for the high IS person that has those social skills and they are going to want to invest in other people because their mindset is not so much fixed on accomplishment, but the investment in other people.

It may be a bit harder for the high D and individualistic because they want to lead the process rather than slow down at times. But empathy is essential for building the kind of relationships that Christ wants us to build one person at a time. So let's talk about some best practices that might help you focus on building your own charisma, that warmth and empathy.

Remember the Greek word for charisma is 'grace.' You're extending that grace to other people when you convey warmth and empathy. How do you do that? Get curious about the people that you come in contact with.

Ask them questions. "Where'd you go to school? Where'd you meet your wife?" I love that question. "How did y'all get together?" I have never met a married couple that didn't want to tell me about that relationship.

Their perspectives may be different. And even if you have a challenge, have a conversation with someone that you don't know. When was the last time you actually stopped and talked to the cashier at the grocery store? Next, listen and be vulnerable.

Reveal your feelings so that you can actually create a bond and people can become relatable. We talked about this in our trust course. Be vulnerable so that they can relate to you.

But most of all, get out of your comfort zone. Remember Sun Tzu's comment, "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." That's why the Scriptures tell us that if someone slaps you on one cheek, give them the other cheek.

Because it will have an impact. We can heap coals of fire on people's heads that we never possibly imagined. But when you get closer to other people, you are actually able to explore outside knowledge that will allow you to empathize with them in a way that may be different than your own, but it may turn on a light bulb for you.

Become fully present. It requires that you are aware of your environment and the priorities that exist with the individual and with the situation that you're working in. Now that's much easier for the social mindset, but it's much harder for the utilitarian and the aesthetic mindset because they have very fixed ways of approaching.

So let's think about how to be more mindful of people and extend that grace in a way that actually draws and attracts people. Take moments when you just tell them that you appreciate them. Ease the burden of unpleasant tasks through reflections.

Try to relate. Take a deep breath. Re-center, especially during times of meditation on the Scripture.

The Bible reminds us that, but our nature is to read through them or to read a commentary on them and then not think about them, just accept what's there. Meditation on the Scripture allows us to come to a much more relaxed state and provides us with recharging our batteries so that we become more efficient in our workplace. And ministry place.

Most of all, practice acceptance. If God's ordering our steps, we're there for a purpose. And by ordering our steps, we can literally label and table the negative emotions.

Lastly, in the same way that we focused on integrity, I think you should probably do a personal development plan. Let me review it very quickly. I know we just covered it last lesson, but identify what are the things that you can bring that warmth and that empathy and that practicing presence so that you exude the power of the Holy Spirit in you.

Think about what parts of your behaviors, mindsets actually help you and hinder you. How can you take those weaknesses and turn them into strength? And which of your job duties allow you to actually display that? So when you look back on those behaviors and mindsets, plug them into your SMART goals toolbox and focus on a specific objective of how do I present that presence and that warmth, display that empathy, which illustrates the power of God to other people, especially if you're in a new environment. Rather than trying to sell yourself, develop the ability to ask questions.

Why? I think it says in Proverbs someplace that a man of few words is considered wise. Ask questions rather than make statements. Then people will be attracted to you through the presence of the Holy Spirit.

And you too will gain the charisma that God intended for you before the foundation of the earth.