Spiritual Life of the Leader - Lesson 10

Dr. Stephen Martyn
Spiritual Life of a Leader
sf502-10
The Eight Deadly Sins (Part 2/4)
Lesson Transcript

[00:00:00] Okay. Welcome back. We're not we're not done with trusted studio with this inordinate sadness yet, but I want to stop and let people ask about this so we can get a little bit more clarification. One of the questions I had was when you were talking about, you know, the smoke and Yeah, and not seeing all the good and focus on the little. Yeah, yeah. And we're supposed to put that off and put on other stuff. The practical quote is lots of times when you're right in the middle of it, you can't just say, just stop it. Yeah, I know. And so the question is, I mean, is there do we allow ourselves a time frame for grieving. Yeah, well, at a practical level, you start. Yeah. Putting off and putting on. Yeah. Awesome question. You know, I think first of all, we do not deny the fact that we get broadsided, we get hit. We cannot deny that. In fact, we'll do a whole lecture on crises and how that impacts us and in how we, we, we move through that. You can also not deny that that when you know, the body's severely injured in some way or the soul is severely injured or your spirits really hurt, that that takes the whole horizon. You know, I've been at a point of physical injury where that how can you do anything else? So we don't want to deny reality. We don't we don't want to deny the fact that that when you're in a time of suffering, you don't want to be Pollyannish quick example about that. I had two really, really bright students, man and wife, and they were toward the end of their education in seminary, and they were working in a large congregation at the time and one of their parents died.

[00:02:16] They went to the funeral that week and only a few days later they came back to be in ministry. That day on Sunday in church, large church, influential church, their boss pastor came up to them and said, Now I'm going to count on you to put on the joy of the Lord. This morning they looked at me and they said, What do you see? And I looked at them with great love, and I said, I think you need to turn in your letter of resignation right now because you're working in a false system. When our brother is crying, when our brother or sister is hurting, it is our job not to tell them to shut up. That all that says is we can't handle you know, we can't handle it. So I don't want to be inhuman. And the question really helps validate this. What what, what what I'm attacking here and what the early church was attacking was when it turns into a way of living, You know, we're all I see is what's wrong. And so we'll do some ways out, you know, through the crises. Even today we're going to do some ways out. But part of the way is you go through the waters of suffering. You go through the valley of the shadow, and sometimes that takes several years. I mean, sometimes it may take. A lot of years. A lot. A lot. A lot of years. So. All right. Other questions on sadness we've got on. First of all, I think this is, to me, been deeply helpful. You had mentioned that sometimes in ministry there's people who maybe just don't like you and you can't figure it out. Something happened and you're not going to figure it out until you get glory.

[00:04:23] Jesus is going to have to figure that out. Yeah. You try to forgive each other, you move on. Yeah. It may be hard to believe, but there are some people who don't like me. Yeah, and. And some of them are still involved in in in ministry. Closely with me. Yeah. And I'm trying to figure out how to deal with that. Is there a time to disassociate? Do you just bear through it? I don't know if that's a fair question. It's a very, very fair question. It's a very, very difficult question. And so you just pray for me as I ask the Lord for help. There are times. In ministry. Where I have to dismiss people. I was never in a pastoral setting where I didn't have to dismiss people and oh my gosh, talk about one of those times. Literally put me in the hospital. Literally put me in the hospital. But. You simply cannot allow a dissident voice to bring the whole bus to a grinding stop. And there were times when I would bring people in and they were spitting nails at me now. Now. So I was talking about staff when I'm a lead pastor, when I'm the lead pastor. There were the times when congregants, people from the congregation would come in spitting nails. And I say, look, you know, I've got I've got a calling on my life and the leaders of this church or stand behind where we're going in this calling. And and you've got a different calling on your life. Maybe, maybe this is the time for you to seek another fold to unfold your calling. And sometimes people would even be honest with me, say, you know, we we respect your calling, but it's not our calling and we're going to leave.

[00:06:44] And at that point, you just blast people and let them go. You don't try and forcefully hold anybody. Now, you got to also raise the issue. What do you do when you've got a staff member and you're not the boss and you're spitting nails at the boss? I mean, that's a very real issue. Going to be a very real issue for people listening to to this video teaching time. What I will tell my students and then those who come come back is, you know, you're going to have to make decisions. Is there basic moral integrity in your boss? Is your boss under spiritual authority? Is your boss you know, is is your boss crossing lines? This should not be cross. If that's the case, then you need to get out. If it's not the case, then the general word of the church historically has been hold your ground. Would Paul say stand, you know, stand this. Let the Lord do his work. One of the counter reformers in the Roman Catholic Church is, Look, man, you've come to the monastery for everyone to be a part of your molding and Christ. And he said, you need to stand. You need to stay still and let the work go. So you see, there's not a lot of easy answers here, and you might need to come back. Go ahead with clarification. What if the person that's so angry with you is is a congregant and you're in leadership? Oh, I've had that. Oh, people. Oh, my gosh. And. Multiple times. I don't think I ever served a church. I was in no pastoral setting where someone didn't come unraveled with what I was doing. And there are even times in a teaching ministry where I'll have a student come completely unraveled with what I'm doing.

[00:09:09] All right, here's the deal. I've got to ask God for Grace in saying, first of all, is there any measure of truth in what this individual is saying, even if they're you know, it's like, you know, I grew up in an agricultural setting. And so, you know, if you ever heard the term mad as a wet hen, you know, chickens would come after you. And I actually have quite a number of stitches on top. I had here as a child, a rooster perched on my head and spurred me. And I still to this day, remember blood coming down I couldn't even see. And they all puff up their feathers. You know, they'll. So even when someone's all puffed up and they're exaggerating, I mean, what they're basically saying, you're the worst thing that's ever happened. You're destroying their life. And normally they'll say, and you are destroying this church. Oh, my gosh. How many times have I been told that you are destroying this church? Is there a grain of truth? Do I need to ask for forgiveness from them in some way? When that is, when that's followed through. And I've been truly humble before God. And if I do need to ask for forgiveness, I need to ask for forgiveness. But then they continue on. Then I've done all I can do. And there have been times when other parishioners actually would have to intervene for me and say, Leave him alone. Leave the pastor alone. You let others. You're going to have to let your elder board or others take care of it. These are real issues in a divided culture and in a divided society of the great, well, the greatest tools of Satan today. There's the book on this. And it will it will come to me.

[00:11:19] It's actually a charismatic book written by a charismatic author. It's talking about the greatest tool of Satan. Today is where someone just gets outraged. You know, they're there. They've been wounded in some way, and they ought to vent in every way that they can vent. Well, how do you stand against that and how do you do so without without being hurt and doing the same thing? So the minute you're hooked and then the minute you start throwing the grenades and the bombs back at them, well, Satan's got a perfect playhouse there. Then, you know, everybody loses their whole pastor. You stand, you stand. And part of what I had to learn is that I will stand even when my integrity is being trashed. Why? Jesus has got my back. I don't have to prove anything. I know I'm a sinner. I know I've made mistakes. But I know I've been God's man. And I know I can stand in that. And. And he's going to sort that out in the end. He's going to take care of all of that. But I can stand to say, the point is, sometimes I feel that to say to you, maybe you were called to worship elsewhere. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I have said to people, you know, maybe God is calling you to be in leadership in another place. But I'm going to do it the way Jesus would do it. You know, I'm going to be firm. I'm going to call a spade a spade. Just as he will. Just as he did. But I won't put Peter Sword back in its scabbard. You know, I'm not going to take that out. I'm going to. I'm going to stand.