Leading Change in the Church - Lesson 4

Dr. Rick Sessoms
Leading Change in the Church
mc612-04
Coping with Change
Lesson Transcript

[00:00:00] Well, I'm just curious. Does this does this stuff work for you? I'm just. Just interested. Very interested. This is not something that usually gets talked about in discussions about leading change in the church, quite frankly. And but but colleague and I have done this in a number of parts of the world have felt that it's so crucial to get a get our arms around what is happening to the people that we're that were working with when when we introduce this change. Is this meaningful? Is it helpful? What what do you think? I'm just curious. And I'm interested if it doesn't work for you, if it's if you're struggling with it, if it's not quite ringing the bell for you. It's always helpful to understand stages that you might get if that's what you're. Yeah. I suppose the emphasis isn't so much that you go through all five stages. I was just sharing that. That, uh, you know, I started a ministry called Freedom to Lead about three years ago, and, uh, I suppose I never went through the denial stage except to say about three months later, I can't believe what I've done to myself. But I did go through that. That issue of the fear and the anger that, uh, that, that I didn't get didn't feel like I was getting a lot of cooperation at first. And then the sadness that just sense, Oh, no, I'm stuck, you know, kind of thing. And then there was renewal and, and those cycles do continue, but, but it's not really about going through every, you know, lock step, every stage is just is just trying to get a sensitizing to the fact that that there is something that dies within us and in order for something to be reborn.

[00:01:58] And that's a traumatic experience for us. I just think it's good to be reminded that because I am not it in touch with the negative side of change very much and my experience is always on the other end of it. And I am naturally climate change and often I like to change things in my own life, but then in sort of a work environment, that sort of thing. And so when I am to change, I do get frustrated with a lot of people who are dragging their feet. And, you know, I have a big problem with it. So that's that's a you know, I'm often not sensitive enough to the impacts of change on people. And so that's a it's good to. To get more. I appreciate you sharing that. I think as I've gotten older, I've gotten more sensitive to the impact change on me. I don't I don't like change as much as I used to. I don't like somebody mowing my my footstool or us, you know, watch television at night. So maybe it's something they were getting old. I don't know. Was that you go through denial. That's right. Really deny confusing if somebody moves my footstool. Sure. Yeah. Well, there are some ways that we can cope with with all this harassment that's going on inside of us when we go through change. One thing we can do is we can talk with someone about it. It is always helpful to share what we're feeling and what we're going through. When we're dealing with change, getting exercise to get out and and get get the juices flowing is something that helps me to deal with the stresses of disruption in my life. Write down your thoughts and feelings. Journal. I'd spend some time capturing what you're going through, not just that you've come out the other side, but the actual process that you're going through.

[00:04:09] During that death and dying process of change. Give yourself time to recover. I mean, give yourself some space, for crying out loud. It's it's if change is significant enough, it's positive change. It does introduce some stressors into your life and your being that aren't easily just dismissed. And so take time to recover. Give yourself give yourself a break and then communicate in healthy ways as best you can. Own your feelings. If you if you're sad on the fact that you're sad or if you're mad on the fact that you're mad. If you're frustrated, you're happier related, whatever. Communicate in ways that you're taking responsibility for your feelings, but you can also communicate that this is what I believe are causing those feelings within me. And I think that's that's a very healthy way of communicating. We'll get into communication when we deal with peacemaking, but we'll just leave that and get help if you need it. Sometimes that can come through a companion. Other times it may be going to somebody that's a bit more capable of dealing with, with these kinds of processes in people's lives or get that kind of help. Are there other strategies that you can that that have worked for you in the past as you're going through changes, particularly as something significant and the stressors take place? What what works for you getting through those times? I still think you have to ask why. So prayer and reflection. Yeah. Very good. Others. I find that I have to stay involved in my retreat too much. Some of the negative things about change here seem to compare. Have you ever heard of ignoring the change in mindset that staying involved in relationships or. Or the process is very wise, very wise.

[00:06:31] So so don't withdraw. But main mistake saying stay engaged and connected. Is that what you mean? You can adjust how you're being engaged and connected somehow. Another. You know. I think it's also sometimes helpful when you're under a lot of stress to lighten the load and to strategically choose nonessential responsibilities that can be either jettisoned or have food and give yourself permission to let go of some stuff. Start doing some stuff that may not be as critical as what you thought it was. Good suggestions, good strategies.