Leading Change in the Church - Lesson 4

Well, I'm just curious. Does this stuff work for you? I'm just interested, very interested; this is not something that usually gets talked about in discussions about leading change in the church, quite frankly, but a colleague and I have done this in a number of parts of the world and have felt that it's so crucial to get our arms around what is happening to the people that we're working with when we introduce this change. Is this meaningful? Is it helpful? What do you think? I'm just curious. And I'm interested if it doesn't work for you, if you're struggling with it, if it's not quite ringing the bell for you. 

I think it's always helpful to understand the stages that you might get to, if that's what you're asking? 

Yeah, I suppose the emphasis isn't so much that you go through all five stages; I was just sharing that. I started a ministry called Freedom to Lead about three years ago, and I suppose I never went through the denial stage except to say about three months later, I can't believe what I've done to myself. But I did go through that issue of the fear and the anger that I didn't feel like I was getting a lot of cooperation at first, and then the sadness, that just sense of, oh no, I'm stuck, you know, kind of thing, and then there was renewal, and those cycles do continue, but it's not really about going through every, you know, lock step every stage; it’s just trying to get a sensitizing to the fact that that there is something that dies within us in order for something to be reborn, and that's a traumatic experience for us. 

STUDENT: I just think it's good to be reminded of because I am not as in touch with the negative side of change very much, and my experience is always on the other end of it, and I am naturally inclined to like change, and I often like to change things in my own life, but then in a work environment, that sort of thing, so when I institute change, I do get frustrated with a lot of people who are dragging their feet, you know, and have a big problem with it, so I'm often not sensitive enough to the impacts of change on people, and so it's good to… 

I appreciate you sharing that. I think as I've gotten older, I've gotten more sensitive to the impact of change on me. I don't like change as much as I used to. I don't like somebody moving my footstool where I sit and watch television at night. So maybe it's something to do with getting old, I don't know. What’s that? [laughter] That's right, really do not -- confusing if somebody moves my footstool, that’s for sure. Yeah. 

Well, there are some ways that we can cope with all this harassment that's going on inside of us when we go through change. One thing we can do is we can talk with someone about it; it is always helpful to share what we're feeling and what we're going through when we're dealing with change. Getting exercise, to get out and get the juices flowing, is something that helps me to deal with the stresses of disruption in my life. Write down your thoughts and feelings; journal; spend some time capturing what you're going through, not just that you've come out the other side, but the actual process that you're going through during that death and dying process of change. Give yourself time to recover. I mean, give yourself some space, for crying out loud. If change is significant, even if it's positive change, it does introduce some stressors into your life and your being that aren't easily just dismissed, and so take time to recover; give yourself a break. And then communicate in healthy ways as best you can. Own your feelings. If you're sad, own the fact that you're sad, or if you're mad, own the fact that you're mad, if you're frustrated, you're happy or elated, whatever. Communicate in ways that you're taking responsibility for your feelings, but you can also communicate that this is what I believe is causing those feelings within me, and I think that's a very healthy way of communicating. We'll get into communication when we deal with peacemaking, but we'll just leave that. And get help if you need it. Sometimes that can come through a companion. Other times it may be going to somebody that's a bit more capable of dealing with these kinds of processes in people's lives, so get that kind of help. 

Are there other strategies that have worked for you in the past as you're going through changes, particularly as something significant and the stressors take place? What works for you getting through those times? 

STUDENT: I still think you have to ask God why along the way. 

So, prayer and reflection. Yeah. Very good. Others? 

STUDENT: I find that I have to stay involved; if I retreat too much, some of the negative things about change can seem to bear a heavier burden. I don’t mean ignoring the change, I’m not saying that, but staying involved, whether it’s in relationships, or part of the process will be active.

Very wise, very wise. So don't withdraw, but stay engaged and connected. Is that what you mean? 

STUDENT: You can adjust how you're being engaged and connected, but somehow or another maintain it. 

STUDENT: I think it's also sometimes helpful when you're under a lot of stress to lighten the load and to strategically choose nonessential responsibilities that can be either jettisoned or deferred and give yourself permission to let go of some stuff, stop doing some stuff that may not be as critical as what you thought it was.