Curious Christian
Forgiveness is not about being nice
Forgiveness is about not letting the past control your life
When I talk to you about forgiveness, I'm not talking to you about adding to your niceness. Forgiveness isn't a nice thing to do for other people so that things just kind of get a little better. That's not what forgiveness is.
So it's not sort of a list, something to add to your or my list of nice things that we do, ways that we were nice to people. I'm talking to you about forgiveness in a way that says I'm not letting that event or those events or places where I truly was a victim, I had no part in that, it was something that was done to me. And I am not letting that take me forward.
You can, you've done that or sometimes, by omission, you've not done that, and you cannot now continue to direct my life.